And the bottom drops out.

My dad passed away a few days ago.  This has been so hard for me to talk about but I know that I must.  I am so thankful that I got to be with him before he died but nothing really prepares you to lose your parents at this age.  Children are supposed to outlive their parents but this is too wide of a margin.  I went to the hospital that day thinking that the next day he would leave ICU and everything would eventually get back to normal.  Well, the next day he did leave ICU but he did not leave it alive.  If you ask me, he officially died that day that I saw him for by the next day there really was not anything left to save despite the doctors trying.  There is nothing that prepares you for that helpless feeling you get when you know there is nothing more to be done but you desperate need there to be an undo button for real life.  A way to change those moments that after the fact are so easy to identify.  Those turning points when the result could have been affected and the harsh reality banished.

The 3 year anniversary...

So it's been 3 years since I was fired from my job.  So much has happened since then and so many things are still happening but I wish to reflect on this day.

Working in a hostile environment is akin to being in boarding school, as I would imagine it.  There is so much going on in your life but just as every teacher acts as their class is your only class so does each conflict at work become 'the only thing' that is happening to you.  Problems with your personal relationship? Irrelevant because you have to deal with the depression from your work environment.  Having issues paying the bills because you have lost so much pay between suspensions and increased medical bills? Well, leave that behind because you have to deal with working through your symptoms and trying to meet this goal that is unattainable without your accommodation.  Basically all of your problems become moot because your teacher expects that the only problems you have are the ones they assigned.